I do not care if you are my mortal enemy, if you ask me to do a period check on your behind to make sure your pants are still good i got your back dude
#and such are the rules of girlhood#thou shalt check thine sisters’ behinds for period stains#thou shalt walk behind thine sister to hide said stain until she can find something to cover it with#thou shalt never deny a tampon to a sister in need#and thou shalt offer ibuprofen whenever possible
Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it”
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.
To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…
Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band post
Everyone else go home
Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this
which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,
that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that
Who does that?
This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.
More like Julius Fuckit
this post just kept getting better and better
Jack was employed into service for the East India Trading Company and was given command of the Wicked Wench. However, after he set free a cargo of slaves, his employer, Cutler Beckett, had Jack branded as a pirate and the Wench set aflame and sunk. After failing to rescue the Wench, Sparrow struck a bargain with the ghostly captain of the Flying Dutchman, Davy Jones, to resurrect his beloved vessel. Jones returned the ship to Jack in near perfect condition except for the permanently charred hull. This prompted Jack to rename her the Black Pearl.
I DIDN’T KNOW THIS WHAT.
danged sympathetic fictional pirates and their refusal to engage in the slave trade, I’ll tell you what.
No one before Bernini had managed to make marble so carnal. In his nimble hands it would flatter and stream, quiver and sweat. His figures weep and shout, their torses twist and run, and arch themselves in spasms of intense sensation. He could, like an alchemist, change one material into another - marble into trees, leaves, hair, and, of course, flesh.
- Simon Schama’s Power of Art. Bernini
My James, Lily and Harry portrait illustrations are now available as high-quality prints from my Society6 page, in many sizes.
“The very first time I saw you Harry, I recognised you immediately. Not by your scar, by your eyes. They’re your mother Lily’s. Oh yes, I knew her. Your mother was there for me at a time when no one else was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind woman. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even, and perhaps most especially, when that person couldn’t see it in themselves. Your father, James, however, had a certain, shall we say, talent for trouble. A talent, rumour has it, he passed onto you. You’re more like them than you know, Harry. In time you’ll come to see just how much.”
Society6’s print shop produces gallery quality Giclée prints on natural white, matte, ultra smooth, 100% cotton rag, acid and lignin free archival paper using Epson K3 archival inks. Custom trimmed with 1” border for framing.
Lady Gaga vs Pokémon - Applause
I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE HOW WELL THIS WORKS, I AM COMPLETELY BLOWN AWAY
Okay, Lady Gaga’s existing finally makes sense to me.
She’s clearly an escapee from the Pokeverse.
that odd moment when south park says something more beautiful and poetic than most television shows out there
Senior English major on a Shakespeare final.
WELL THEY’RE NOT WRONG (via fadeastride)
vivaldi: 3 billion concertos hhaha
cpe bach: who am i
mozart: sunshine and smiles
haydn: i basically invented every single genre lol
beethoven: ANGST ANGST ANGST and triplets and going deaf
chopin: my soUL
paganini: hahhaha noobs
liszt: AHAHAHHAHA noobs
alkan: fck ur fingers lol
schubert: im a mushroom
wagner: have a twenty year long opera lol and leitmotifs
tchaikovsky: boom boom cannons
debussy: sevenths and modes and whole tones awww yiss
ravel: bitch please ninths elevenths quadrillionths
holst: who needs stringed instruments ha anD I HATE THE PLANETS
prokofiev: lol get out of my way conventional tonality i will modulate in one measure to f double fuckflat minor and stay there for a page
shostakovich: anGST ANGST ANGST FUCK YOU STALIN
stravinsky: da da da da da DA da da
satie: im funny
These are cute.
IS THAT AN OTTER TEXTING A HEDGEHOG
The dino one is so cute
is Wonder Woman.
Imagine you’re raised in this utopian, women only warrior society (this part isn’t fucked up) and you’re taught all about how outside of your society which is magically shielded by super-science/magic
there lies “man’s world.”
Man’s world is just…