i love AUs
high school AUs
1950s americana AUs
punk rock AUs
bicycle repair shop AUs
competitive hot dog eating championship AUs
AUs are great
you could even say AUs are…
Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:
Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.
Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken. The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.
At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates. While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.
A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.
The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.
The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.
When I grow up I want to be Ming-Na Wen.
She’s the voice of Mulan, as if she wasn’t amazing enough.
She broke it with her fingers. Not a fist, her fingers.
Girl is 50 years old.
FIFTY. YEARS. OLD.
fun fact: When you break things with your hands like that you have t break your knuckles on purpose before so that they heal stronger. So basically this woman is so badass she broke her hands just to do this.
what do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?
also Ernest Hemingway but that’s beside the point
Jeyne Poole: I’m the biggest mess there is, Theon.
Theon Greyjoy: No. No, no, no, because you say, “Eff it.” I tried to say, “Eff it”and I blew up my whole life. I just wanted to say, “Eff it,” “Eff you,” and I effed it. I effed it all up.
This awesome video features Croatian cellists Luka Sulic and Stjepan Hauser, aka 2Cellos, playing their phenomenal “BaRock style” arrangement of the hard rock classic for a completely bewildered 17th century audience. The concept is wonderful, but the actual performance is astonishing.
[via Geeks are Sexy]
I have the goofiest grin on my face right now, wow.
yeah i just
i’m so sexually frustrated right now
CHECK THE LINK IT GOT BETTER
OH MY GOD
This would make such great battle music
THIS WAS PRETTY MUCH THE MOST BADASS THING EVER
Can we please talk about the experiment who just made sandwiches throughout the entire series on Lilo & Stitch
look at him
friendly reminder that Rube had the same powers and strength as stitch, but had a higher intelligence resulting in him being able to speak perfectly….but instead of being obsessed with destroying cities…only cared about making sandwiches…
i want a good omens movie but it has to be perfect and it won’t be therefore i do not want a good omens movie
The Good Omens movie is announced.
Neil Gaiman publicly states his approval with every aspect of the movie, and stresses how true…
ʷᵉ ᶰᵉᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒ ˢᵐᵃᶫᶫᵉʳ
We interrupt your usual schedule to bring you a very small pig descending a set of stairs.
HE JUMPS RIGHT INTO IT AND MAKES LITTEL SOUNDS N0
I want more shows like Breaking Bad that take typecast actors and give them the chance to blow everyone’s socks off
Let’s have a series where Jack Black is a smart and calm guy who has his life together, Vin Diesel is a total softie and Zooey Deschanel is bland and has no outstanding charms or quirks.
and Michael Cera is a totally confident, suave lady-killer
and Seth Rogen as a sociopathic hitman
and Sean Bean as not dead